You can read about BDSM, you can talk about it, you can chat about it on the 'net, you can watch videos, but you just can't beat the hands-on experience. Of course you can beat on the hands but we'll get to that later, I promise! The Dom/me's hands are so versatile, apart from gripping toys they can be used on their own to caress, stroke, drum, flick, massage, pinch, pluck, pleasure, rub, nip, scratch, spank, tickle, tease or torment ... the list goes on and on. On the sub they can be tied, tawsed, or caned, or used to serve or pleasure the Dom/me, again just for a start to the list. Hands are designed to be so sensitive that they can convey myriad information about our surroundings yet tough enough to work and survive. They are truly amazing, targets for so much and yet, to preserve their usefulness they must also be treated with respect.
Most of the time in these sections we consider what can be done TO parts of a sub's body, and we will get to that here too but first for a change lets consider what they can do WITH this body part.
- A sub lives to serve, or at least they should! To some Dom/mes the sub's hands may not be
their most important body part but few Dom/mes would want to do without them. A sub's natural
inclination is usually to do whatever they can to please their Dominant. If they have educated
hands the pleasure they can give is almost endless. Using their hands, as well as other body parts
when the opportunity (or whatever in the male subs case) arises, the sub can caress or massage,
bathe, oil, shave and manicure their Master or Mistress. They can prepare and serve foods or drink,
clean and tidy, and then they can get back to the interesting bits! With every part of their hands a
sub can stroke, squeeze, gently scratch, rub, smooth, tap and knead the Dom/mes body until it is
alive with sensation. Of course they will probably use their tongue, lips, teeth and body in all
this too but the hands are so much more sensitive and flexible.
Once the Dom/me is aroused the fingers are ready to grasp or penetrate, flick, glide and vibrate
until the subject of their ministrations calls 'Enough!' Hands never droop or become incapable after
use, not even for a few minutes. Fulfilling their purpose doesn't make them too sensitive to touch.
Every trade has its tools and however good they may be with their other tool(s), a sub who wants to
go beyond being a journey(wo)man to becoming a master crafts(wo)man should become an expert in giving
pleasure with their hands.
Hands are wonderful tools but like all tools they need to be maintained good condition. A sub's hands should be clean and smooth, despite the other work they may be required to do. When working, hands should be protected with barrier cream or gloves where possible. If the skin becomes rough despite precautions it should be oiled, moisturised or stoned. Nails should be cleaned, cut short and neat, then filed smooth. The hands should be exercised regularly to keep them strong and supple. A sub's hands are important to their Dom/me. A slave's hands are the property of the slave's Owner. They should be cared for with that always in mind
- Because they are designed to be sensitive to touch and because they are made for work, hands are not designed to be particularly sensitive to pain. This limits their versitility in pain play. Pain play is usually confined to strapping the palms of the hands or fingers. This side of the hand can be whacked with a strap, tawse, ruler, cane or other instrument. If done reasonably and accurately no lasting damage will be done. However, the pain generated is not erotic to most subs. Most often, CP on this area is done for punishment or as part of a Scene in which it is the reason for or context in which the beating is delivered that is important, rather than the effect of it. In those cases the strokes may not have to be particularly hard to achieve the desired result. That said, for some subs and some Dom/mes a very severe thrashing on the hands is what gives them that which they seek.
The backs of the hands and all around the wrist are relatively vulnerable to damage and carry some fragile bones and important blood vessels and nerves. Caning or strapping on the hands can resurrect unpleasant emotive memories in some subs. This is another aspect of play that should be discussed before it arises.
- Play piercing on the hands isn't usually considered particularly erotic and the blood vessels and tendons which run along the backs makes it somewhat risky. With great care and a knowledge of the relevant anatomy it can be done. It is up to you to decide whether the person who is going to do the piercing has that knowldege.
All of the rules that usually apply to piercing apply equally when the piercing is on the hands.
- Bondage on the hands can be quite an art form. Of course once tied up the sub can't do much else with them, but that is usually the idea! Thumb and finger cuffs are available which are like miniature handcuffs and who doesn't remember from childhood the fiendish Chinese Finger Trap? For those who missed out on this particularly devilish device, it consists of a thin tube of woven bamboo leaf. When it is compressed from each end the diameter increases. If a finger is pushed in from each end and the tube is smoothed out over them the fingers become trapped. Trying to pull your fingers out just makes the tube tighten and you can't push them together because the tube isn't wide enough to let your fingers pass each other. Only someone holding the tube and sliding the ends inward will release you. They are still available in some joke shops and make a fun inculsion in any bondage kit. Oriental digital devices apart, the same effect can be achieved with fairly thin cord or rope. Bondage afficionados can have tremendous fun weaving intricate and effective patterns around the fingers, thumbs and hands. A trick of the forces for quick bondage was to use a plastic cable tie to fasten a captive's thumbs together but this is dangerous and should not be imitated during play.
Don't bend fingers or thumbs in a direction they are not meant to go! Bones of the hand are sometimes quite fragile and easily broken. If fingers turn purple or blue or feel cold at the tips, remove the bondage within about 20 minutes to avoid permanent damage. When using finger or thumb cuffs only use the real thing, not those cheap imitation cuffs only designed to be used as key rings.
Have fun and play safe!