The type and degree of access to the vulva of a femsub is a matter for pre-Scene negotiation between her and her Dom/me. BDSM does not always involve sexual intercourse and it may not involve direct stimulation of any part of the vulva. It may or may not even involve the femsub being completely naked. Some wannabe Doms (and, much more rarely, Dommes) think, or even are wannabes because they believe, that BDSM is an easy way to find a woman who will do and accept whatever they want sexually. Such wannabes are usually very quickly educated into the realities of the Scene and are not often seen much thereafter. Of course, there are some serious but inexperienced Dom/mes who just do not know the culture and etiquet of BDSM and may think that access to any part of a sub's body is a part of the deal. That is definitely NOT the case and particularly so with this most intimate area. The sub may renegotiate access as the relationship develops and trust grows. However frustrating it may be, new Dom/mes should always remember that progressing before that re-negotiation not only destroys trust, their reputation and much chance of them getting to play with another sub, it could also be followed by a charge of indecent assault, rape or attempted rape! The vulva is undoubtedly the most erotic, sensual, sensitive and satisfying area of BDSM play, for both the femsub and the Dom/me but access is never automatic.
If permission for free and open access is granted then we are into a world of fun that makes New York seem like Albert Square! The vulva has several distinct parts, each of which lends itself to differing forms of play. Rather than discussing the forms of play generally, in this section lets look at each part of the vulva and the best ways of stimulating it.
The outer side of the outer lips, particularly, bear hair. I can already imagine femsubs grimacing at the thought, but many Dom/mes find that femsubs react quite emphaticaly to having these hairs tugged or plucked. The Dom/me can take it one step further of course and either shave or depilate the area. Some subs find being shaved by their Dom/me extremely exciting, humiliating, or stimulating. A combination of close inspection by their partner and the physical sensations of the water and razor can create a unique bond. We have a close friend, a Domme, who insists that the first thing she does with a new sub is to shave their genital area, with an open razor! She maintains that if, by the time she has finished, the sub hasn't lost any embarrassment and developed the beginnings of what will become a deep trust then they are never likely to. We believe her! Waxing or plucking the hair also tends to get the sub's undivided attention.
The outer lips are sensitive but not quite so much so in many women as their nipples. Many femsubs who cannot take clamps on their nipples will find them bearable in this area, at least for a while. How many she can accept and for how long will vary. Tapping or flicking the clamps gives a sharp reminder of their presence. A regular feature of genital play with femsubs who can accept clamps is to further their effect by hanging weights from them. Both the clamps and the hanging weights make it difficult for the sub to walk or crawl, adding humiliation to the stimulation. Depending on the position chosen, vaginal sex with clamps in place may be uncomfortable for the Dom/me, perhaps too painful for the sub. Clamps any where on the vulva doesn't usually prevent anal sex and, with care, stimulating the sub's vulva orally might be possible too.
It is quite common now to see femsubs with their outer labia pierced and ringed. Sometimes these rings are padlocked together as a chastity measure, other times they may be hung with weights, or used as connection points for a lead or tether. Temporary piercing, in heavier cases right through the outer lips, is also an aspect of play for some couples
Light flagellation of the vulval region is popular with Dom/mes. In common with the genital area of a man, whipping or paddling the vulva of a woman will do no harm as long as it is not too hard. In fact the vulva will take rather more punishment before damage occurs than testes will.
The Labia majora consist of skin and fatty tissue, connected to the abdomen by muscles that pull them open during arousal. There is a normal blood supply and nerve structure but no major blood vessels. If cut or pierced the outer lips may bleed copiously but not dangerously. The usual precautions of hygiene and common sense with clamps, electrical toys, razors and needles all apply.
See above for safety considerations.
The clit is a small target but one which is so satisfying to hit accurately and effectively that it is the center of a lot of effort when a Dom/me wants to reward a sub for her effort or achievements. Many women find that a clamp on the clit is just too much to bear while others have the clit itself pierced rather than the hood. A light stroke with a flogger, paddle or cane can have an immense effect. Stroking with a fur paddle or glove, a brush, a tongue or an electrical toy is equally dramatic. Wax and ice play is little short of phenomenal and if you try rubbing on a little dab of Tiger Balm, make sure you have a cooling solution ready and clear access to the shower, just in case she finds the session getting too hot!Few people are ever tempted to damage a woman's clit and it's small size does much to protect it from accidental damage. The circumcision of the clitoral hood does not relate in any way to the truly horrendous and vile practice sometimes referred to as female circumcision. In this abuse the outer and inner lips and the clit are slashed away, often without anaesthetic or any proper sterile procedure other than heating a rough knife in a fire before before the 'operation'. This disgusting, disfiguring, disabling and non-consensual process inflicted on young girls is part of the culture in some third world countries but is totally abhorent to most people in the West.